Bismillahir rahmanir raheem
Day after day, I see posts on Instagram and Facebook lambasting women for what they wear or battering brothers about the length of their trousers or their beards. By no means am I belittling these issues BUT the way we’re approaching them as an Ummah in my opinion is flawed.
How do we make hijab a team effort? How do we get brothers and sisters to support each other in a positive way, rather than dragging them into the public area to be flogged in front of a crowd?
IT IS AN OBLIGATION FOR BOTH SEXES
Hijab (meaning to cover, curtain or screen) wasn’t just revealed for women. It’s more than just a piece of cloth on someone’s head. Hijab was first revealed not in the sense of clothing but actions.
Say to the believing men that: they should cast down their glances and guard their private parts (by being chaste). This is better for them – Surah Nur: 30
Allah swt then goes on to command the believing women to observe hijab of the eyes as well as covering their beauty except that which is apparent and to use their “khumur” (head covering) to cover their bosoms. In the times of jahiliyyah (ignorance), women used to cover their heads with a scarf and then throw it behind them exposing their ears, neck and chest.
These verses indicate that their is a clear hijab for both men and women and Allah swt has set the standard clearly.
MAKE IT EASY FOR EACH OTHER
As believing men and women, we should desire for each other what we desire for ourselves. We should be making it easy for each other to reach jannah and we should want to see each other their.
Sisters, we need to be mindful of our brothers who may be struggling to control their desire for women. We also need to be conscious of our little sisters who look to us for guidance and as examples. We live in an overly sexualised society in which naked bodies and lewd behaviour has become the norm. We need not play into the hands of a society that pays women to take off their clothes and fines women for covering.
Brothers, think about your sisters who will be looking to you as leaders in our communities. Set an example by following the right hijab for men. Lower your gaze when you see believing and non- believing women. These are your sisters in humanity as well as deen. You wouldn’t want your mothers, sisters or even daughters to be preyed upon in the street like pieces of meat.
ADVISE IN PRIVATE NOT IN PUBLIC
Public shaming of women who don’t wear the correct hijab is an epidemic that needs to stop. Day after day I see sisters who are struggling with the concept of hijab move further away from it because we have lost the art of advising people in private. You may think you’re being helpful by pointing out the sister’s mistake however, doing it in a public arena may discredit what you say. The same goes for brothers. Embarrassing your brother in the masjid because his trousers don’t come above his ankles or because he doesn’t have a beard to your liking is unacceptable.
This is not how the Prophet (saw) used to address people and we need to look back to the Qur’an and Sunnah to re-educate ourselves in this beautiful example of people skills.
MAKE DUA FOR EACH OTHER
I wanted to leave this point until last as we often don’t realise how powerful a sincere dua can really be. If you see your fellow brother or sister struggling with hijab, make dua for them. If you’re the one struggling with hijab make the dua for someone else in the same predicament, the angels will say Ameen and inshaAllah the same dua will be answered for you.
What tips do you have for making hijab a team effort? Comment them below!