Christal Joan Muslim blogger + coach talking about how to overcome failure

I’ve Failed, Now What? Learning To Forgive Yourself

Bismillahir rahmanir raheem

Failure is a part of life that we all have to go through to grow and learn and learning to forgive yourself can be difficult.

Everyone goes through times where you think you could have done better or things didn’t work out how you planned. But have you forgotten that Allah swt is the best of planners?

When things don’t go your way, Allah swt has given us tools to “grow through what we go through.” We just have to be willing to put in the work.

So here’s a formula to let go and keep it moving.

 

make wudu

Have you ever made wudu when you’re angry or upset? If not you NEED to try it. Water is  a calming but powerful force. Not only can it put out fire, it can cut through rock with it’s determination.

“Listen to me carefully! Shall I inform you about the deeds through which Allah eliminates mistakes and elevates your ranks? To make wudu fully and properly despite its difficulties, to go to mosque from a distant place and to wait for the next prayer after a prayer.” (Nasai, Taharah, 107)

 

pray 2 rakat

The beauty of nafl (voluntary) salah is that it can be done at any time, apart from the times that salah is disliked obviously. You don’t have to just limit it to 2 rakat, you could pray more if you like.

By praying 2 rakat, you are saying to Allah swt “I’m here. I’m not perfect but I pray that you guide me. Guide me to the straight path and make my trials a means for me to reach jannah. Help me to turn my failures into successes and to learn from them.”

 

ask allah for forgiveness and believe it

There is a subtle difference between ‘afwa and ‘maghfira. Maghfira comes after hisab – a person is shown his sins, admits them and is forgiven. ‘Afwa means that the sins have been obliterated from a person’s record by God’s grace and mercy – there is no hisab for them. – Suhaib Webb

One of the problems we have when we ask Allah swt for forgiveness is that we believe that we’re so bad, there’s no way Allah would forgive us. This is one of the biggest tricks of Shaytaan. To make you think you’re so sinful/ worthless that there’s no going back. It’s quite ironic as even Shaytaan turned to Allah swt and asked from Him after he committed the first sin.

Ask of Allah and call on Him by any of his 99 names (Al Afuw, Al Ghafoor, Ar Rahman, Ar Raheem) and mean it! When you put your trust in Allah, how can you go wrong?

forgive yourselfChristal Joan muslim blogger + coach talking about how to overcome failure and forgive yourself

After you’ve asked Allah swt for forgiveness and you’ve done it with conviction, forgive yourself. A lot of the time, when we fail to reach a goal we burden ourselves with blame. Blame = baggage and “ain’t nobody got time for that.”

The only way you can move on is if you truly MOVE ON! Don’t dwell, wallow and bathe in your past failures. Look at them from a different perspective and ask yourself how you can learn from them. Turn that failure into fortune!

No one gets anywhere by living and breathing the past, learn to move on. Click To Tweet

How do you get over failure? Comment below

 

Christal Joan

17 thoughts on “I’ve Failed, Now What? Learning To Forgive Yourself

  1. Fatima says:

    I agree that we all go through phases after which we think that we could have done better but these all tecah us new lessons and experiences of life. It’s better not to repeat the same thing again and yes, Allah is the BEST planner!

    • Christal Joan says:

      Yes definitely sis! It’s making the distinction between a failure and a lesson that makes us more productive and open to change inshaAllah

  2. Ummbilal says:

    It takes a while but i take failure really hard but it ends with me turning it all to Allah. May Allah grant us the ultimate success. Ameen.

    • Christal Joan says:

      Ameen. I used to be the same sis, but as you’ve pointed out it’s just another opportunity from the Most Merciful to turn back to Him.

  3. Nadia says:

    It’s such a simple thing, but I’ve never thought to make wudu when I feel overwhelmed but, it’s true, you instantly feel better. Great advice!

  4. Fozia S says:

    Our failures make us who we are and we should learn to appreciate that and learn from our mistakes…

    I remember one exam I was really struggling with and had failed twice and this was my last chance. A friend suggested I pray…and I hadn’t prayed in ages and felt like a hypocrite…but the sense of peace I felt after praying is unexplainable…..and then I went on to pass. Alhamdulillah

    • Christal Joan says:

      Alhamdulillah sis you’re right, it is what makes us who we are and a necessary process we all have to go through

  5. BritDeshiMummy says:

    I make wudu sometimes even if I’m not praying ! It makes me feel so much better. But of course it’s best not to dwell on things but I appreciate it’s easier said than done sometimes!

    • Christal Joan says:

      It’s very true. From my observations it’s something that’s ingrained in us from childhood and it’s such a shame

  6. Umm Rayyaan says:

    Great read. I used to take faikure extremely hard to be honest. However now my mindset has changed. Do I get disappointed in myself?absolutely. But it isn’t the negative, self-doubting kind of disappointment anymore alhamdulilaah. I feel that my journey in studying the Qur’aan is what has helped me change my mindset alhamdulilaah.

    • Christal Joan says:

      Alhamdulillah sis you’ve overcome! I used to be so terrified of failure subhanAllah, now I take every “failure” as a lesson inshaAllah

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