Bismillahir rahmanir raheem
Revert to islam
Every revert/ convert goes through transitional stages. As nice as it would be to take your shahadah and become an amazing Muslim (as most people seem to assume reverts do), it’s not going to happen.
I went through so many stages to get where I am today. I still have a hell of a lot to improve on. Here are some of the stages I went through and some sincere advice at the end.
Finding places to make wudu. Urgh.
I apologise to all the disabled people out there that have been prevented from using the toilet because I was doing my wudu. But in my defence, finding places where it’s convenient to put my foot in the sink isn’t easy.
I would go all the way from Fajr to Maghrib holding my wudu at workt. But I know what the underlying problem was. I was so worried that someone would ask me what I was doing or what took me so long in the toilet. I’d rather just avoid the questions.
And if I did do it, I’d do it so fast I’d wonder if I missed a step and get water all over the place.
Secret wudu is no joke but alhamdulillah it’s an essential part to our salah (prayer).
This is something I struggled with for a while. My first job out of uni was in an environment where there were two other Muslims but they weren’t practising. Not only did I become the “everything Muslim correspondent” (for the Muslims and non- Muslims alike), I also had to find somewhere to pray my salah every day.
I was too timid to ask to use an office on my lunch break so I resolved to pray in the one place I knew would be quiet. The car park. Before I used to drive I would pray in the corner out of the way so people wouldn’t see me. Then alhamdulillah, I passed my driving test and my go to place was behind my car. If only I had a pound for the times I was in sujood (prostration) and someone would come into the car park!
Looking back, I was way to anxious about the whole situation. At the time, I couldn’t bear people knowing I prayed, especially when the other two Muslims there didn’t. This is what inspired my #SlayWhereYouPray project coming this year inshaAllah.
hijab style fails
I had ever worn anything remotely like a hijab before. The first place I went to for guidance was YouTube. There I found hundreds of thousands of tutorials on “easy everyday scarf styles” but I wanted something fancy. And here’s where the fails came in!
I’ve tried them all, turbans, folds, bows the lot and now alhamdulillah nearly 6 years on I wear the same style every day!
It’s important for everyone to find a style that works for them and is within the guidance given by Allah swt. I also empathise with those who haven’t found that style yet.
deleting your music collection
Music was my life. Over the years I had learnt to associate times in my life with different songs and they were a mental trigger for me. But trying to keep music out of my life now I was Muslim is one of the hardest and longest tasks on my self improvement to do list.
When I really sat down and listened to the lyrics I was listening to I wad disgusted with myself. I went on the war path and deleted all the music in my iTunes library.
It’s not as easy as “replace all your music with Quran sister” and I wouldn’t make it out to be either. It can be done over time inshaAllah.
what i’ve learnt so far
Everything happens at it’s proper time not not before then. This doesn’t mean that you don’t wear hijab or you don’t pray. By this I mean that if you’re striving for Allah swt He will make it easier for you.
Allah’s Messenger said that Allah said: He who comes with a good deed, its reward will be ten like that or even more. And he who comes with vice, his reward will be only one like that, or I can forgive him. He who draws close to Me a hand’s span, I will draw close to him an arm’s length. And whoever draws near Me an arm’s length, I will draw near him a fathom’s length. And whoever comes to Me walking, I will go to him running. And whoever faces Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, I will meet him with forgiveness nearly as great as that, provided he does not worship something with me. Muslim
What stages have you gone through to bring yourself closer to Allah swt? Comment below and let’s joke about them together.