Christal Joan Muslim blogger and life coach talking about the struggles new Muslims go to transitioning to Islam

The Secret Wudu and Other Revert Muslim Problems

Bismillahir rahmanir raheem

Revert to islam

Every revert/ convert goes through transitional stages. As nice as it would be to take your shahadah and become an amazing Muslim (as most people seem to assume reverts do), it’s not going to happen.

I went through so many stages to get where I am today. I still have a hell of a lot to improve on. Here are some of the stages I went through and some sincere advice at the end.

 

secret wudu

Finding places to make wudu. Urgh.

I apologise to all the disabled people out there that have been prevented from using the toilet because I was doing my wudu. But in my defence, finding places where it’s convenient to put my foot in the sink isn’t easy.

I would go all the way from Fajr to Maghrib holding my wudu at workt. But I know what the underlying problem was. I was so worried that someone would ask me what I was doing or what took me so long in the toilet. I’d rather just avoid the questions.

And if I did do it, I’d do it so fast I’d wonder if I missed a step and get water all over the place.

Secret wudu is no joke but alhamdulillah it’s an essential part to our salah (prayer).

 

praying at work

This is something I struggled with for a while. My first job out of uni was in an environment where there were two other Muslims but they weren’t practising. Not only did I become the “everything Muslim correspondent” (for the Muslims and non- Muslims alike), I also had to find somewhere to pray my salah every day.

I was too timid to ask to use an office on my lunch break so I resolved to pray in the one place I knew would be quiet. The car park. Before I used to drive I would pray in the corner out of the way so people wouldn’t see me. Then alhamdulillah, I passed my driving test and my go to place was behind my car. If only I had a pound for the times I was in sujood (prostration) and someone would come into the car park!

Looking back, I was way to anxious about the whole situation. At the time, I couldn’t bear people knowing I prayed, especially when the other two Muslims there didn’t. This is what inspired my #SlayWhereYouPray project coming this year inshaAllah.

 

hijab style fails

I had ever worn anything remotely like a hijab before. The first place I went to for guidance was YouTube. There I found hundreds of thousands of tutorials on “easy everyday scarf styles” but I wanted something fancy. And here’s where the fails came in!

I’ve tried them all, turbans, folds, bows the lot and now alhamdulillah nearly 6 years on I wear the same style every day!

It’s important for everyone to find a style that works for them and is within the guidance given by Allah swt. I also empathise with those who haven’t found that style yet.

 

deleting your music collection

Music was my life. Over the years I had learnt to associate times in my life with different songs and they were a mental trigger for me. But trying to keep music out of my life now I was Muslim is one of the hardest and longest tasks on my self improvement to do list.

When I really sat down and listened to the lyrics I was listening to I wad disgusted with myself. I went on the war path and deleted all the music in my iTunes library.

It’s not as easy as “replace all your music with Quran sister” and I wouldn’t make it out to be either. It can be done over time inshaAllah.

 

what i’ve learnt so far

Everything happens at it’s proper time not not before then. This doesn’t mean that you don’t wear hijab or you don’t pray. By this I mean that if you’re striving for Allah swt He will make it easier for you.

Allah’s Messenger said that Allah said: He who comes with a good deed, its reward will be ten like that or even more. And he who comes with vice, his reward will be only one like that, or I can forgive him. He who draws close to Me a hand’s span, I will draw close to him an arm’s length. And whoever draws near Me an arm’s length, I will draw near him a fathom’s length. And whoever comes to Me walking, I will go to him running. And whoever faces Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, I will meet him with forgiveness nearly as great as that, provided he does not worship something with me. Muslim

What stages have you gone through to bring yourself closer to Allah swt? Comment below and let’s joke about them together.

Christal Joan Muslim blogger and life coach talking about the struggles new Muslims go to transitioning to Islam

Christal Joan

23 thoughts on “The Secret Wudu and Other Revert Muslim Problems

    • Christal Joan says:

      Jazakillahu khayrun for the comment. I literally have the same 4 pins that I use everyday with the same plain 5 scarves that I rotate lol

  1. Rayeesa Tabassum says:

    Sadly, the problems you have mentioned are not limited to reverts. I had to also do secret wudhu when I was in college as I had studied in a Non-Muslim college. I had to also delete my music collection. And alhumdulillah I have definitely noticed that when Quran entered my heart, Music stopped affecting me the way it used to.

    • Christal Joan says:

      Alhamdulillah. In a way it’s beautiful and sad that we all share the same experiences. I think the thing I wanted most was someone to tell me it would all be ok but I was always to scared to share my experience of struggle because I was worried people would judge me for being a bad Muslim

  2. Haya Newleaf says:

    I have a good news for you- you don’t have to wash your legs in sink for wudu even in your workplace !!! Provided, you wear a socks when you are in wudu. Then on its suficient that you wipe over it once while performing wudu. This is valid for a day for a resident and 3 days for a traveller. Please check islamqa for more details.

    I once worked in a place where i was the only muslim surrounded by pious christians, who would take every opportunity to invite me to christianity. Back then, I didn’t know much to counter argue. I used to pray zohar there in a corner. Then, there were days, when we are exempted from prayer. They were very considerate, so they would keep asking me to take a break and pray. I would just sit on the prayer mat for few minutes and hope they wouldn’t check on me. 🙂

    • Christal Joan says:

      Jazakillahu khayrun sis. I know that now alhamdulillah but had no clue at the time.

      Aww may Allah swt guide them, Ameen. There are still so many common misconceptions between Christians and Muslims. InshaAllah I might write an article on that!

      Jazakillahu khayrun for the comment

  3. Ayesha says:

    Alhamdulillah had it easy living as a born Muslim in the Gulf but faced every single one of these problems while traveling to non Muslim countries. Can understand you and your journey. BarakAllah sis

    • Christal Joan says:

      Jazakillahu khayrun sis. More and more I’m coming to notice that “born” Muslims and people who come to the religion face many of the same problems.

  4. Yousra Naeem says:

    These all are real struggles & it just feels so good to read that you are struggling to be a better muslim ❤
    Alhamdulillah for a Muslim homeland but you know what deleting music & avoiding listening to it is something I am struggling with too & I hope that I will be able to do that & also hijaab styles too but now I don’t care anymore & just wear it simply.lol
    May Allah make everything easy for you & for all of us & guide us to true path (Ameen)

    • Christal Joan says:

      Ameen to your duas sis! You are certainly right, music seems to be EVERYWHERE and I never noticed it until I tried to avoid it.

      May Allah swt make is easy for us all and if we are to go through hardships, make us of those that are patient an grateful, Ameen

  5. Lubna says:

    I know how it be…when you are not working in a place where you can go for Wudu…Even I wear the same hijab style since years….it is convenient and comfortable to me…

  6. sainab says:

    I can totally realge to the making wudu one and praying at work one. Except mine was praying at college. it wasnt until my last year thay I felt confident enough to do it. Looking back on it now though i feel so embarassed that it took me so long to get there.

    • Christal Joan says:

      It’s such a shame that we feel ashamed to pray but people feel no shame when they’re sinning publicly. May Allah swt potect us and them, Ameen

  7. Aishah says:

    I think a lot of people struggle with these especially finding places to make wudu and pray. Its quite sad because we should not let our anxieties get the better of us. May Allah make us strong in stay true to our faith!

    Great post

    Aishah

    • Christal Joan says:

      Ameen. The same thought literally just crossed my mind subhanAllah. Alhamdulillah I’m at a place where I can reflect on these thoughts and write them down

  8. Iqra says:

    This was an enlightening read. May Allah bless you with increase in all that is good, and accept every sacrifice you have made for His sake. Reading about your story encourages me to keep on struggling in mine!

  9. Zainab Dokrat says:

    Realist post I have read in a while and its not only limited to reverts. I struggle with Salah when I’m out and about as well as deleting my playlist. I think if you’re conscious about it and try Allah will make it easy to be a better Muslim Insha-Allah. May Allah guide us all and make us the best we can be 🙂

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