Bismillahir rahmanir rahmeem
At the time of writing this post my little boy M is 8 weeks old alhamdulillah and my gosh has it been a journey. I knew motherhood would teach me lessons but they’ve been coming thick and fast. I’ve learnt so much about myself and thought I’d write it all down to keep track and to hopefully help other first time mothers as well.
LESSON 1: YOUR BABY WILL CRY
No matter how much of a content baby you have at some point, whether it’s for food, because they’re cold or they just want some attention your baby will cry. Not being there to pick your baby up immediately does not make you a bad mother and not knowing why they’re crying is no bearing on the beautiful bond you’re creating. Both you and your child are learning about each other, likes and dislikes, and this learning experience will carry on for the duration of your time together as parent and child.
LESSON 2: YOU STILL NEED ‘YOU’ TIME
One thing I was determined to maintain when I became a mother was my own identity. I wasn’t just M’s mum, I was still Christal and I still had needs of my own. When M was 5 weeks I went to a very close friends wedding and dared to leave M for a few hours. Terrifying as it was it was also exhilarating to know that even though I was a mother, needing time to myself could still feel good and not selfish.
LESSON 3: HOLD ONTO THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY
Yes you’re a mum but you’re allowed to be interests that make you happy outside of that. For example, I love blogging. Granted, I haven’t done as much of it as I’d like since becoming a mother but when I get the chance I write as much as I can. Whether it’s a favourite TV show, reading your favourite surah or listening to a khutbah on YouTube, hold onto a pasttime that makes you happy.
I’ve recently found a load of new speakers, one of them being Ustadh Asim Khan.
LESSON 4: ENJOY EVERY MOMENT
They grow up fast. One day they’re newborn and before you know it they’re walking and talking. Not everyone will experience pregnancy and motherhood so I urge you to enjoy every second Allah swt blesses you with. The dirty nappies, the night feeds, the sleep deprivation subhanAllah. He swt has put blessings in it all and a means for you to gain rewards inshaAllah.
We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth – Surah Al Ahqaf ayah 15
What lessons have you learnt about being a mum? Share them below!
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