Motherhood comes with a great responsibility of raising your next generation in best of the manners. When you strive to be a perfect mother but don’t want to leave any stone unturned in your deen matters. Don’t think you are alone in it. We all miss those days when we were energetic and active in performing all acts of worship whether it be fasting, praying or just making long heartfelt duas with the least responsibilities of those little minds on our shoulders. This overwhelming urge of bringing excellence in our worship sometimes haunt us especially during the days of Dhul – Hijjah or nights of Ramadan when Allah’s mercy and blessings are all in the air.
You know you are a mother when everything around is not going to happen as you planned or run as smoothly as you desired. You know you will have interrupted moments. Your kids and family expect your undivided attention and you are all puffed up to become a super Muslim mommy to tackle life perfectly. For the mothers who are concerned about both their deen and dunia, if you are sincere in your relationship with Allah then you will strive to change yourself for the better. Read on for tips on how to get closer to reaching an ideal balance between the two and you may find a few things that apply to your life.
1. MAKE EVERY ACTION YOUR IBAADAH
First thing first. How easy is it to get ajar (reward) from every action that we do at home? Whether it be preparing food or helping kids do their homework, changing their clothes or helping them brush their teeth. When we make up our mind for the right intention of earning ajar from all these actions then Allah will reward us for doing them. No matter how trivial these actions are or how irritated you feel doing them, you will be rewarded if you make your intention to get rewarded in addition to just finishing your chores or helping your kids.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said
“The reward of deeds or the value of actions depends upon the intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended”(Sahih Al-Bukhari)
Our children are an amaanah (trust) from Allah to care for and raise in a manner that is pleasing to Allah. If their manners and lifestyle turn out to be the best representation of Allah’s will then guess who is getting the ajar of all this?
Moreover, make things easy for yourself and your family and don’t be hard on yourself. The more you try to put every puzzle in place, the more things will slip away from your hand. As the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ once advised to his companions:
“Make Islam and its affairs easy for people, and do not create hardships for them (through your behavioUr). Spread the glad tidings, and do not make people run away” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)
2. BRING CREATIVITY AND TOGETHERNESS TO THE PRAYER TIME
I believe the least ‘me’ time is in the life of a concerned mother. Don’t isolate yourself during the time of prayer. Instead, involve your children with you. Buy them small lovely prayer mats and put them alongside yours, buy them small colorful Islamic books and put them with The Quran. Do some sort of attractive artwork on the room walls where you pray. Making a masjid out of cardboard and putting it on the wall doesn’t take much time. Hang a few lights around the art. Put a small jar of candies alongside books. These activities will encourage your kids to take part in worship of Allah and learn new adhkar every day. When your kids are grown and regular with their prayers and adhkar, you will be the one thanking Allah for earning extra rewards for their each and every righteous act. What a blessing!
3. KEEP YOUR PREFERENCES STRAIGHT
Not only should you remember to offer all your prayers but learn to pray on time. Don’t procrastinate and don’t delay. Make up your missed fasts as early as is convenient for you. Prioritize your obligatory actions of worship over your voluntary prayers. Don’t get so busy in your life affairs that you jumble everything up. Shaitaan wins by you delaying your prayers or making you prefer less rewarding deeds over the more rewarding ones. You are the best judge for yourself. Be vigilant and keen in knowing what deserves to be done first and what should be done at a later time. This will give you more satisfaction of heart and mind. Your daily activities should revolve around your obligatory prayers and not vice versa.
If you need more tips on how to pray on time, check out this article from the ladies over at Ayeina.
4. CREATE A CALENDAR FOR YOUR FUTURE GOALS
Whether you create a calendar, manage a to-do list on your gadgets or simply stick notes on your fridge; just write down everything under the heading of your future goals. When you put it in writing, you know you have to make time to do it. You know this is important to achieve well in time. If you are planning to recite The Quran daily then mark the number of Rukoos you want to finish on a daily basis. Your written goals will always remind you to take that first step towards achieving your long-term worship goals and you won’t feel frustrated with the amount of work hanging on your head. Following the timetable ensures there is no important work pending in your schedule.
5. DON’T MICROMANAGE
Micromanagement distracts from the major goals. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Give yourself some slack. Ask your kids to carry their own dishes, clean their shoes, hang their clothes, make their bed and collect those toys. Supervise them but don’t think that you have to do everything with your own hands to ensure it’s done to perfection. It doesn’t need to be perfect. Empower your kids and help them learn their age-appropriate chores. Treat them like independent beings. Delegate responsibility to them and you will get much more time to perform your acts of worship. At least you can do the tasbeeh while your kids are handling the stuff around the house. Don’t feel shy from taking help. This will give you a healthy time to reflect as well.
6. STAY FIT AND HEALTHY
The healthier you are, the more active you will feel in your everyday life. You can be more productive as a mother and as a Muslim. You will be able to fulfil your duties towards Allah more efficiently. By following the Sunnah ways of eating and staying fit, you will not only lead a healthy lifestyle but you will also earn a lot of reward for following the Prophetic guidance about eating, drinking and avoiding obesity. Our ibaadah goals are directly related to our level of fitness and healthy lifestyle. We know that:
- Salaah requires elasticity and agility of the body
- Fasting needs a quick metabolism
- Umrah requires strength and stamina to complete the Tawaaf and Sae’e
- Hajj necessitates power and determination to fulfil it’s rights of going between the pilgrimage sites.
To take care of these pillars of Iman (faith) you need to be in your best shape and health so you can fulfil your religious responsibilities in the best of the manners.
Saima Asghar is a proud SAHWM (Stay-at-home working mom), a Human Resource expert and a student of Al-Huda International. She is a writer at Saima Writes. Thoughtful parenting and homemaking are her passions while meaningful writing and reading are her food for soul. She believes that life affords no greater responsibility and no greater privilege than the raising of the next generation. Saima’s passion for Islam, parenting and writing is what has connected her with us.